BIG NEWS!
Got a job (finally), and I'm starting tomorrow morning at 6:30AM which, coincidentally, is my most favorite time to be awake. My job is as a personal assistant. Or rather more like an assistant to a personal assistant. All I know is that it involves making salmon in a microwave and occasionally polishing silverware.
But, more importantly, I would like to settle something regarding things I may or may not have said in previous posts. I want to make it absolutely clear that I in no way derive any sort of pleasure from making light of others or what they do, and that anyone that pays me any amount of money instantly becomes, in my mind, infallible. Any ill-conceived jokes I made in previous posts were done only to elicit laughter from my readership (a.k.a. my parents).
So if you read anything in this blog that you might have found offensive or crude, remember that it's all just to make my parents laugh. Or maybe it was terrorists. Whatever you find to be more plausible. And if you're my new boss, please don't fire me. Mahalo.
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